BEST WORST MOVIE
Oh, c’mon. You know you’re going to enjoy this double bill. And you’ll have the best water-cooler story when the officemates ask about your weekend. Mayfair Theatre and CKCU-FM present the ultimate bad movie duo: Best Worst Movie and Troll 2. Here’s the double-bill bonus! Not only do you get to see the films, you get to meet George Hardy — cult celebrity and child star of Troll 2, considered the worst movie ever made. Here’s the second double-bill bonus! It’s licensed! $12 members; $15 non-members. Friday, Nov. 12. Best Worst Movie starts at 9:30 p.m., followed by Troll 2 at 11:45 p.m. Mayfair Theatre, 1074 Bank St. (at Sunnyside). www.mayfairtheatre.ca.
The plot: An 18th century French diplomat and spy uses cross-dressing as a means of disguise — to the extent that people can no longer define him as man or woman. The late, great fashion designer Alexander McQueen designed the gender-bending costumes (no surprise from the man whose work regularly appears on Lady Gaga). And just as genre-bending as it is gender-bending, the show is a mélange of dance, theatre, kabuki, and martial arts, led by principal ballerina Sylvie Guillem and award-winning choreographer Russell Maliphant. $38.74-$64.57, students $20.72-$33.63. Nov. 12 and 13 at 8 p.m. National Arts Centre, Southam Hall, 53 Elgin St., 613-755-1111. www.nac-cna.ca.
DR. EGG AND THE MAN WITH NO EAR
The Ottawa International Children’s Festival kick-start its fall/winter season with two performances of the bizarrely named Dr. Egg and the Man with No Ear. Actually, the story is bizarre, too. All the better. When a man loses his ear in a strange cycling accident, a mysterious scientist, Dr. Egg, offers to grow the man a new one. But first he needs a piece of his daughters’ precious flesh. The man refuses to harm his child. Eager to make her father happy, however, the daughter makes her way to the lab of Dr. Egg… Weird enough for you? The performance has gotten rave reviews for the story, puppetry, stop-motion animation, original music, and physical performance. $13.80. Saturday, Nov. 13 at 1 p.m. and 4 p.m. Shenkman Arts Centre, 245 Centrum Blvd., Orleans, 613-241-0999. www.ottawachildrensfestival.ca.
Craft sale season is upon us, so get a head start on your holiday shopping at this hip, independent event. Started in 2009 by three crafty friends, they’ve since added a fourth member to the organizing committee (Krista Leben of Urbanite Jewelry). All four design their own lines and offer everything from edgy lamps to funky quilts. Other goods up for grabs are children’s items, bath and body products, knits, gourmet goodies, jewellery, and more. With quirky touches like live piano music and a tarot card reader, this unique fair is one not to miss. Nov. 13 from 9 a.m. to 5 p.m. St. Matthews Church, 217 First Ave. http://craftalicious.tumblr.com .
TEN THOUSAND VILLAGES FESTIVAL SALE (FREE!)
The pioneers of fair trade host their annual Festival Sale this weekend at the Ottawa Mennonite Church, so if you’re looking for ethical Christmas gifts, this event is a must. (Heck — if you enjoy quality food, natural fibres, and original tree ornaments it’s a good sale to check out.) In addition to pottery, foodstuffs, baskets, jewellery, and blankets, there are also “living gifts” available for purchase. Prices range from $25 (to supply literacy materials to a woman in Bangladesh) to $300 to fill a barnyard with animals and help a family become self-reliant. And don’t miss borscht in the tearoom (open Saturdays 10 a.m. to 4 p.m.). Nov.12-13, 19-20, 26-27. Ottawa Mennonite Church, 1830 Kilborn Ave. www.alternativetrade.ca.
I KILLED THE GROUP OF SEVEN (FREE!)
Beautiful and grotesque, thought-provoking and disturbing, such is the art in the latest exhibit at Patrick John Mills Gallery. The show, a collection of works by such artists as Chiko Chazunguza, Christopher Lea Dunning, Allen Egan, Bing He, Chance Jackson, and Dan Martelock, contrasts with what the curator calls the “happy, joyful, family friendly culture” of Canadian art. And while Mills loves the work of A.Y. Jackson and Lawren Harris, he’s eager to reveal the alternative. Meet the artists Nov. 11. Patrick John Mills Gallery, 286 Hinchey Ave. www.patrickjohnmills.ca.